This is a song that riffs on a classic hip hop sentiment: if you don't give a shit about me now, don't come around when I blow up.
This is a feeling that comes up for me when I'm in a pretty negative mindset where my head is telling me that people don't like me or I'm not going to be successful. Regardless of what mindset I'm in, I think it's true that people don't really care what you're doing til they have a reason to, and I assume I'm equally guilty in that. But sometimes I do think about what would happen if I did become really successful, and I have no doubt that people who couldn't have cared less before will all of a sudden want to be in my world. I wonder what I'll do in that situation..
Either way, my closing thought on this one is that songs like this are kind of my meat and potatoes as an artist -- that is to say, songs that are an outlet for some kind of bitterness -- and I'm not sure how I feel about that. While I don't see any value in stuffing those kinds of feelings, and indeed I think it would be harmful to do so, I feel some need to try to balance those songs out with ones written from a more inspired, satisfied, or even just balanced state of mind. Because really I have no interest in being a bitter person, but as far as music goes, it's much easier to write biting songs than uplifting ones (without feeling cheesy).
In other news, the album art was a b-word to make. Normally I just draw these kind of illustrations in one go with sharpie, mistakes be damned. This time I went back to an older method where I used velum (fancy tracing paper) to trace separate elements out of my sketchbook and assemble them into the final piece, but it got all messy and I don't like how it scanned in -- the line weights got all messed up in the process of trying to get rid of some of the grey values. More importantly, I'd like to establish a visual aesthetic for album art and visual assets in general going forward, rather than just have the album art be whatever I can whip up in a pinch. So in that sense, this release was one of those dare-to-suck moments where I have to grin and bear the fact that part of my formula is certainly not where I want it to be. Don't get me wrong, I like my illustrations, I just don't know that it's what I want the visual identity for Gepetto to be.
lyrics
Y’all don’t like me now,
When i blow then they try to be down
And you know they’ll be like gee wow
Try to blow me and bite my style/2
When i make it where i wanna be
Honestly I’ma be/
on my knees thanking the heavens they honored me/
But it wont be for presents and property/
Just the pleasure of properly
dropping these/4
Gems
Treasures I’m offering friends
And yeah i wanna ride up in a benz
Yeah i wanna win
Yeah i wanna date a perfect ten
Top down hair blowin in the wind/6
But then, again,
I could never be fake,
Plus i’m more about trying to create,
Trying to be happy
Trying to be great
I’m on my way I ain’t trying to be late/8
I see people and try to relate/
But they don’t wanna look my way/
Look, my way is a different path
Already did the math, if you don’t value that you can kiss my ass
Can you hold me down
Bars,
But it feels so hard/
When you going to a job and it steals your charge/
And you got no energy, every day
everyone feels like an enemy anyway/2
And you just want to medicate
Its hard nuff to breathe in here let alone meditate/
You just want a better way/
They tell you you’ll get a shot soon
And you better wait/
But i don’t have a shred of faith
Took steps trying elevate/
When its my time to celebrate
Don’t try chiming in cause you’re hella late/
